Have you ever been stuck in a rut?
Like most of us, I certainly have. The difficult part of that is being in the endless cycle “Why did that happen to me?” While I certainly believe in the value of recognizing the root of specific behaviors, habits, thought patterns, etc. We must be wary of getting caught into a negative feedback loop of eternal investigation.
Let’s say you go through something traumatic, catastrophic, or just simply difficult. Regardless of whether or not it’s your fault, the first thing that must be acknowledged is your ability to change the situation your in, specifically what you can control. Accept responsibility over your current behavior, and focus on what can be done to steer yourself in the right direction, back towards your North Star, your ideal.
It’s by asking what that we break ourselves of the why. It’s the what that promotes thought changing behavior which will guide us towards the position of strength, where as why is like looking at the rubble and wondering how you got there, but no action is being taken to fix it. As I said, there’s value in that, but this should be superseded by what we need to do in order to recover. As you strengthen your position, you’ll be able to see more clearly since the emotional weight of the situation is no longer as heavy on you as it was.
Try: What will make me feel better?
Instead of: Why do I feel like crap all the time?
Try: What can I do today in order reduce anxiety?
Instead of: Why am I so anxious?
Try: What can I do so that I can lose weight?
Instead of: Why am I so overweight?
What makes us focus on the positive, the change which we can create, as opposed to the negative where we may be lacking. The answer to the why is usually implicit in the what. As you do what needs to be done to get better you’ll realize why you were holding yourself back, or how you got into that position to begin with. So what are you going to do today?