Well that’s a bold statement…
I imagine you’re thinking to yourself right now, “What could you possibly mean by that Chris? Certainly relationships aren’t everything. I have to pay my bills, I have to accomplish my goals, I need to make it on time to this meeting, and I forgot to pack my lunch today. So, what do any of those things have to do with relationships?”
I understand what you’re thinking, but bear with me for a moment. They have everything to do with the things mentioned. The common misconception is relationships only deal with the way relate to people, but in reality, the way we relate to anything is everything.
What’s your relationship to money?
What’s your relationship to time?
What’s your relationship to your health?
While these aren’t people, we have valuations of each of these and their importance in our life. It’s because of how we value these things, the beliefs we have about them, that we act the way we do.
Imagine someone who holds their health in high regard. It’s highly unlikely for them to do things that would be detrimental to their health because they value the importance of it. Now imagine someone who believes money is like a game and by winning the game they’re helping other people as well as themselves. They’d probably have a lot more fun with money than others who believed money was hard to get.
These relationships are determined by our beliefs and it’s our beliefs that create boundaries. If we’re not specific on what we want, we get anything. Is it wise to let anyone into your home? Probably not. This is why it’s important to know or to have beliefs about what we want from others, from finances, from time, our health, and so much more.
When we understand what we want, we know how to properly relate to the things we do want and don’t want in life. This relationship that’s formed from our beliefs creates boundaries and these boundaries can serve to protect us, guide us, and sharpen our focus. It’s all dependent on how clear we are.
When’s the last time you got clear on what you want in life? We all swim in our own emotions and subjectivity. This is why it’s valuable to have someone who stands outside the waters of our life and is able to give us a degree of objectivity. This can be a teacher, a mentor, a therapist, or in my case, a coach. Now even as a coach I have coaches who help me to see through the veil of my own subjectivity and emotions to understand the truth about my situations in life.
If you’re ready to get clear on your life, I encourage you to find someone that can provide that space for you. Whether that’s me or someone else, it doesn’t matter. Find someone that you connect with, that can help you to get clarity, so you can orient yourself in life properly, knowing how to relate to the things which matter, and create the boundaries you need in order to thrive.
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